Mouthing off

22 May, 2009
Page 43 

Customer: "So it'll be either you or Joanna Lumley running the country next?"

Vince Cable: "Hopefully me AND Joanna Lumley"

- Following a tough week for MPs embroiled in the expenses scandal, squeaky-clean Lib Dem treasury spokesman Vince Cable, approached by a customer at The Cavan Bakery, eyes a future in Number 10 with national treasure and 2007 Baking Industry Awards presenter Joanna Lumley, who had earlier manoeuvred the government into a turnaround over the Gurkhas issue

"To be honest we just started it as a joke but it really has worked. Thieves haven't been anywhere near us for ages. People seem to respect him. We have had a few customers come in and ask us whether they can get Chuck's autograph. They really believe he is sitting in our storeroom out the back ready to pounce on any burglars."

- Sales assistant Mirna Kovac from a bakery in Split, Croatia, ends a series of burglaries by standing a life-sized image of 1970s action filmstar Chuck Norris in the window, with a sign reading: "This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris."





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