09 October, 2009
Page 39

"Hovis bakes 3,300lb bread and butter pudding" was the eyebrow-raising headline in The Telegraph that stopped Stop the Week's week this week. "A bread and butter pudding weighing the same as two baby elephants has been unveiled," it unveiled.

Impressive, we said to ourselves, nodding. Then, mid-doffing of cap, we caught sight of the picture. "Don't look like no 3,300lb pudding to us," we thought! That equates to 235 stone.

So, we did the maths:
(based on one slice weighing 40g):
40kg 70 apples @ 200g per apple: 14kg
56 eggs @ 50g per egg: 2.8kg = 56.8kg

There is no measure given for sultanas, milk, cream, sugar or spices etc. Based on rough percentages, we estimate it would double the amount. So let's say 115kg in total. That's some way short of 3,300lb (1,497kg), or The Telegraph's two baby elephants.

Now, seeing as it measured 9x5ft (2.13x1.5m), Hovis would have to chuck in some pretty weighty ingredients to make up the shortfall. The most dense element on earth is osmium, with 22.61g per cm3. Even with that added, you're going to struggle. Plus, osmium is highly volatile and toxic. Hovis staff in High Wycome were reported to have scoffed the lot and as far as we know they're still alive and kicking, which rules that out.

This is the second time in recent months that Stop the Week has picked The Telegraph up on its dodgy numbers (in May they said a jam doughnut contains 5.7mg saturated fat). Remember that the next time they run a story bemoaning the state of UK education.