"I believe giving these offenders birthday cakes and cards has helped to significantly reduce crime. Their reaction is one of surprise, but the majority accept it in the spirit in which it’s delivered"

- Ch Insp Andy Boyd of Oxfordshire Police buys Victoria Sponge birthday cakes and cards for serial offenders and delivers them in person, as part of a successful initiative to cut crime. (Outraged tax-fearing Daily Mail readers note: the police chief uses his own money to pay for the cakes)

 

"While there is some evidence linking bowel cancer to red and processed meats, there is no evidence that the occasional ham sandwich will increase the risk... Processed meats, however, can contain high levels of saturated fat, and salt, so we wouldn’t recommend eating them too often"

- Yes, the Food Standards Agency is now issuing guidance on ham sarnies