With all the talk of food prices rising, we need to bulk up while we can to sustain us through the tough times. We thought the deep-fried Eccles cake couldn’t be topped until the US strutted back on court and casually slam-dunked the winner in the sat fat wars. Last year Stop the Week reported on the aptly-named Heart Attack Café The Harlem Globe Trotters of sat-fatuousness which was peddling deep-fried Coke balls. It has upped the ante with the closest food equivalent to cyanide yet to be developed: deep-fried butter balls (see bit.ly/9lbXZU).

But why stop there? Make a meal of it! Once you’ve had the cardiologist endoscope this entrée out of your arteries, tuck into the world’s first ever cupcake-poultry crossover (we think, and hope) for the main course: Red Velvet Chicken (bit.ly/cZwiHN). And for dessert in this suicide-by-coronary banquet? Cupcakes, naturally. But since the mains are sweet, why not opt for savoury cupcakes, which are tipped to be the next big bakery export to the UK. Their pizza, cheeseburger and steak-flavoured cupcakes are set to receive a distinctly British twist, with roast beef, Yorkshire pudding with a horseradish butter cream, and fish and chips with tartare sauce buttercream cupcakes apparently on their way. You have been warned (bit.ly/cHNGhJ).

To cement the transatlantic obesity entente, bods at Imperial College London published a study urging cholesterol-busting statins to be served as condiments alongside fast foods to cut heart attacks. The stage is set bring it on!