For the first time, bread sold in Orford is featuring health labels on the packaging, warning of the dangers of lung cancer, heart disease and impotence. Oh no, yet more health scares about bread, you cry! Well, actually no. Neither is it the latest instalment of The Real Bread Campaign. In fact it’s to do with a scam operating around the Grasmere Avenue area of the town where criminals are selling Golden Virginia tobacco for £6 on the street.

When the unsuspecting nicotine-hungry bargain hunter gets home, they find the tobacco has been replaced with bread. Is this the most expensive bread per gram on the planet? It’s a novel way of boosting bread margins, at least.