If you thought the Cake Wrecks blog was the final word in disaster cakes, behold a revelation: a blog that catalogues cataclysms through the medium of cake.
Apocalypsecakes has taken it upon itself to be the diviner of Doomsday, prophesying the coming of the final curtain call via a series of judiciously executed cake creations. "A variety of cataclysmic punishments from God continue to rain down upon us," it proclaims. "Obviously, this is the time to eat several entire cakes."
The site offers a set of cake recipe cards that "show the unsaved how to make original, pre-Judgment Day treats", from Resurrection Day Self-Rising Chocolate Cake to Raining Blood Red Velvet Cake.
Some feature genuine recipes: the Global Jihad Date Cake is simply decorated with a digital timer. Others, like the quite literally tasteless Seismic Haitian Mud Cake, are even less palatable:
3 tbsp salt
1 cup vegetable shortening.
Over 76,000 "unsaved visitors" have passed through this portal of pastry-themed pandemics. Needless to say, not everyone is in rapture, as one commenter complained: "I have to say I’m offended by the very concept of this site. A cake in the shape of a roadside bomb? How about making a cake that doesn’t mock the deaths of innocent people?" And, with short thrift, our biblical blogger greeted his day of judgment: "I’ve never actually seen someone offended by a cake before, but well, there it is."