One book we’re unlikely to be reviewing is Knitted Cakes by Devon-based textiles author-cum-time-waster Susan Penny, which features a "mouth-watering" selection of mohair muffins and furry fairy cakes.

This estimable tome to knit-wittery contains "twenty hand-knitted cakes to make and keep and twenty more to make and give away!" Yes, to Oxfam. If they’ll take them.

There appears to be a cottage industry around knitted confectionery for pillow biters (if that term hasn’t already been mis-appropriated), as this "McKnitie’s Jam Sandwich Cream" (right) attests. One blogger put it down to "an eerie connection between knitting and cake". Eerie? Actually yes, it is rather creepy. "Where there is the sound of softly clacking sticks and string you will probably find cake crumbs. Knitting-themed cupcakes seem the perfect way to connect the dots."

If you say so. Those of you intent on knitting cake, please endeavour to make the eating experience more pleasant than being gagged with a scarf. Here’s a guide on how to knit marzipan: