"I have been for three years baking cakes. And now I’m going to bake a cake that has a bitter jelly. The message of the new music is now more bitter than it was before. Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be"
Er, got that? Lady Gaga draws a cake parallel when asked about her new album. For "jelly", read "jam", not that that makes her remotely intelligible
"Hospitals are visited by a very broad cross-section of society and, as such, the whole hospital environment should reflect the importance of healthy living"
a statement from The Welsh Assembly Government, which is gearing up to outlaw cheese sarnies and sugared tea from vending machines in hospitals in favour of low-fat cakes, water and juice