Keeping an eye out for bakery coverage in the national press involves a depressing wade through half-baked (sorry!) bakery puns. We sometimes fail to resist the temptation to rise to the occasion ourselves (sorry again!). So the time has come to regularly monitor, name and shame the worst offenders here in Stop the Week.

We kick things off with last week’s breaking rumour that Wayne Rooney was to be the new £150,000 face of Hovis’ TV ads. The Daily Mirror, having imaginatively mocked up a pic of Rooney in a flat cap, tripped up in front of an open goal. "Wayne Rooney is heading yeast to make a new fortune - by helping relaunch Hovis loaves," strained journalist John Harkin, before quickly tiring of his theme.

Not exactly renowned for its punning prowess, The Guardian opted for the yawn-inducing "Rooney advertising Hovis? Use your loaf".

The Times’ Caitlin Moran thankfully steered clear of puns, but offered these less-than-flattering words about the campaign, which is said to feature key moments in British history over the last 100 years: "The underlying message here is that a century of Britons eating vast quantities of industrially manufactured, pre-sliced bread has resulted in Wayne Rooney." Ouch.