"Fruit was flown in from Paris daily, meat had to come all the way from Yorkes Butchers in Dundee, while the incorrect choice of biscuits for the executives’ afternoon tea was a disciplinary offence. The mistaken inclusion of pink wafers on one occasion led to a stern memo headlined ’Rogue Biscuits’"

- as if disgraced former RBS chief Sir Fred Goodwin didn’t have enough to worry about, an ex-employee of scandal-hit RBS blows the whistle in The Sunday Times on the ’Biscuitgate’ scandal

"I was given a hair net, a white paper coat... and, worst of all, a beard cover called a snood. I looked so totally ridiculous that any thoughts of incisive journalism left my head and I padded about the factory staring at biscuits and praying for the whole ordeal to be over. Nobody else in the factory was wearing a snood, but then, nobody in the factory was sporting a beard. I think any facially hirsute employee, when faced with the threat of the snood, soon decides that regular shaving is the better option"

- Comedian Dom Joly, visiting a biscuit factory for a TV series on UK manufacturing, reveals why bakery is the cleanest-shaven industry out there