"We still think the sandwich will be recorded in the Guinness Book of Records because of all the evidence and footage that we will send them"

- Iranian Parvin Shariati, organiser of a record attempt at creating the world’s biggest sandwich in Tehran, puts on a brave face after his 1,500 metre-long chicken and ostrich sarnie was set upon and gobbled up by a hungry mob before a measurement could be taken

"When I arrived, we went up to the bar to ask the waitress for the cake, only to find she had given it to another table.

"Despite the fact that the cake said ’Happy Birthday Kaffy’ on it, and despite the fact it was blatantly specially made, they just took it and ate the whole thing"

- Times are clearly tough when diners at a restaurant will snaffle your birthday cake to save on dessert, as Laurel Bennett of Cambridge discovered