I may be known as the Duchess of Doughnuts, but if truth be told I’d consider changing my official title to the Countess of Crumpets. A bold statement, I know but hear me out. While my love of doughnuts is undeniable, you really do have to be in the mood for what is often an indulgent treat.
Crumpets, on the other hand, well they can be sweet or savoury, light or indulgent – a 100kcal snack for all times of day.
If her recent appearance in the latest Warburtons advert is anything to go by, Olivia Colman agrees. In the ad, Colman is seen posing as a ‘Department of National Treasures’ agent investigating whether or not Warburtons crumpets are worthy of such status. Naturally, the whole thing is a ruse designed to bag the Academy Award-winner as many crumpets as possible (she is seen exiting the manufacturing site in crumpet slippers in a vehicle laden with the baked goods).
Colman and I aren’t the only ones who think crumpets deserve recognition. Research by Warburtons found that 71% of crumpet-eating Brits consider the humble crumpet to be a cornerstone of British culture, while 41% agree they deserve national treasure status and should be ‘protected at all costs’. I’m not quite sure what we’re protecting them from but nevertheless I agree.
Where the disagreements come in is on toppings. The Warburtons research found that butter was the number one crumpet topper with 75% of the vote, followed by 30% for jam, and 23% for cheese.
The fact that Warbies didn’t distinguish between the types of jam is, frankly, abhorrent. Raspberry is clearly the superior jam compared to strawberry. But may I suggest damson as an alternative or perhaps even marmalade or lemon curd for those who want a bit more zing.
My go to, or GOAT (greatest of all time), crumpet topping is, of course, butter and Marmite. Just the thought of the rich, salty dairy coupled with the umami Marmite soaking through a toasted crumpet has got me salivating.
Despite the absence of Marmite in the findings, the research suggests Brits aren’t very adventurous with their toppings. Apparently only 4% have tried avocado on their crumpets, for example.
Many years ago, I went to the launch of Warburtons Crumpet beer – a partnership with Toast Ale which saw surplus crumpets turned into a session IPA. Alongside the beer, my friend and I were presented with crumpets laden with sweet and savoury toppings, far beyond what I’d ever imagined in my humble home kitchen. If memory serves me correctly, there was a trifle-inspired crumpet, a Welsh rarebit crumpet, and a coronation chicken crumpet among the offering. They were so good I ate five in one sitting. I still think about them often.
Another crumpet that lingers in my mind is from the Wales Bakery Conference earlier this year when diners were presented with a starter of crumpet laden with langoustine and salsa macha (think prawn toast but elevated). Delish!
So, what’s my message? My rallying cry? Crumpets deserve national treasure status. But let’s not, as a nation, get complacent about their brilliance and vow to top them with more exciting things.
In short: all hail the crumpet (Warburtons or otherwise).
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