"If I want a piece of cake I’m going to eat a f***ing piece of cake. You just have to learn your boundaries"

uncompromising cakehead Kelly Osbourne on how she slimmed down from a UK size 18 to a near-anorexic size 6-8, thus proving that you can have your f***ing cake and f***ing eat it

"My Nana used to say you are not a proper grandmother unless you have a tin of parkin in the house"

Edd (yes, two ’d’s) Kimber, winner of the BBC’s Great British Bake-Off, reveals a hitherto little-known criterion for good grandparenting

"Keep buying the biscuits"

after arriving in his Rolls Royce, the well-liked Tunnock’s boss Boyd Tunnock has a cheery word for 500 picketing staff outside the bakery’s factory, striking against the current management in a dispute over pay, as reported in The Sun