Ok, we’ve not run the rule over the data or peer-reviewed the findings, but we’re still happy to give light to research that states that some 25 million Britons have suffered biscuit injuries.
The dubious claim made by Mindlab International, which devised the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation method, stated that a third of adults had suffered dunking-related scalding, a quarter had choked on crumbs and one in ten had damaged their teeth on a biscuit. If that’s not bad enough, the shocking litany of injuries includes biscuit tins dropped on feet, falling off chairs reaching for a biccie, and poking yourself in the eye. In fact, 500 victims have required hospital treatment.
Mindlab assessed the ’dunkability’ and ’crumb dispersal’ of 15 biscuits for biscuit brand Rocky. Mathematicians cross-referenced these findings with research data and a nationwide survey of 1,000 adults. The lesson learned? Choose the custard cream from the biscuit assortment at your peril.