Standing up or sitting down? That’s the first question that many shopfitters would ask food-to-go bakery and café retailers when putting together a refit. One Austrian shopfitter clearly took the brief too literally when he, ahem, floated this concept.

The above picture is of a coffee shop’s toilets. Nothing remarkable about that, except that the toilets in this Vienna café are situated in the seating area.

While the venue is not exclusive to men it is said to have a largely male clientele, and the cafe has been rebranded ’A Quiet Place’.

"The lavatory is one of the last places in the world where men can sit and relax without women or other distractions," owner Stefan Holz makes a stab at explaining. "We just want our customers to feel at home."

A man’s throne

One customer, Andreas Reider, 44, is reported as saying: "It’s strange but I do actually feel more at ease when I’m sitting in here surrounded by toilets. After all, a man’s toilet is his throne."

Are they suggesting that Austrians sup on a latte and nibble their Viennoiserie in the toilet at home, or that they’re comfortable going to the toilet in their living room?

Such idle speculation about the home life of our continental cousins is by the by, because - thankfully - the toilets in this café are not functioning. Apparently they are purely ornamental and do not flush, although Stop the Week foresees a few disasters awaiting the poor café staff...